Posted in Mid-Life Mama

Hormonal Coup

Yesterday, I was concerned to find myself spun around by spending the afternoon with my tween.  Sure, his injury meant that I had to interrupt my work on two consecutive days–plus loose some sleep–But why couldn’t I relax into our time together?

Van Gogh, from Drawings (visipix.com)

Are we that mismatched?

Is he that difficult?

Have I enabled such a challenging personality?

Or is it me?

With grown children, am I so accustomed to days spent alone, that an afternoon at the doctor’s office–and a “date” at the bakery–is too much parental contact?

This morning it all becomes clear.   As I face the messes in the kitchen and shout to my son to chase after the bus, I realize that I am completely–and inexplicably–unglued.

And then it hits me:

Someone has taken over my flight. It was a covert operation yesterday, but this morning–it is a total coup.

My plane is banking left and heading sharply toward the ground.

Arabic (visipix.com)

Hormones!

This explains everything. I’m about to get my period–and I’m 46–a potentially “lethal” combination.

Where is that Red Tent when I need it?

When the school calls to tell me that my son did make the bus–but adds that I’ll have to come in to administer the antibiotics he needs— I want to cry.

Instead I pull down the oxygen mask and prepare for a rough landing.

I’m back in the pilot’s seat–and that makes all the difference.

Kelly Salasin

(To read other pieces on parenting at mid-life, click here.)

Posted in Mid-Life Mama

The “Wicked” Ovary

I’ve just about finished my month with “The Wicked Ovary,” but not before she exits in style– with flowing reds–and a migraine twist.

It was just this fall that my Naturopath explained how I might experience a different set of monthly symptoms depending on which ovary was operating.  I’d never considered this before and it’s resulted in a ripple of realizations…

“The Wicked Ovary”  is the one which brings out the Mommie Dearest in me.  Paradoxically, she’s gentler on the inside.  For despite my terribly shortened fuse, I’ve hardly experienced any cramping this month.

“I’d take a few days of being mean to my kids over that disabling pain,” another mom suggests at the holiday cookie swap.  But I’m not sure I agree.  It’s distressing for me to live inside a grumpy disposition, even for a short time.

When the Wicked Ovary is in charge, even the sound of cereal bags opening annoy me.  Children’s voices are magnified and every fidgety move grates against my nerves.  To top if off, I wake at any sound, and then can’t fall back asleep–for hours.

Lack of sleep has long been my Achilles Heel. It’s turns my glass is half-full world to half-empty…or simply, empty.  Typically a ten minute nap can do the trick of righting my perception, but The Wicked Ovary leaves me too restless and annoyed to do so.

Yesterday, after shooting several curt directions at my teen, he had the gall to suggest that I “take a nap” before we decorate the tree.   It took all I could to restrain myself from shouting, “F— You!”

Interestingly, this month finds me with sores on the tip of my tongue as if to punctuate the burning words of my short temper.

I’d like to say that I look forward to next month’s ovary–and from this vantage point, those swollen breasts, swollen gums and swollen belly seem easier to manage than this round with outer angst.

It all makes me wonder about balance.  Maybe I can somehow integrate the two.  If getting angry with others leaves me without cramps, and getting cramps leaves me kinder–there must be a centering place in between.

Perhaps at mid-life, more than any other time, The Red Tent is definitely in order.  Taking time to nurture myself during this “change” has to be good– for everyone involved.

Kelly Salasin

Stay tuned next month for the “Woe is Me” ovary.